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Google’s Quest for World Domination

Five years ago Google released Gmail to the world.  It was on April 1, and most people thought it was a hoax, 1GB of storage space, that’s crazy, who needs all that space?  Well it was quickly the must have thing of the year, and you can even credit Gmail for starting the Beta craze, since it had the Beta definition up yesterday.  In those 5 years, Gmail has become the de facto standard for web-based email, and with the Gmail Labs feature, it will continue to innovate the field for years to come.

Way back in the day, when you needed to get invited to Gmail, and users only had one or two invites to give out, there was a place called  You may have heard of it, it’s where I got my invite back in the summer of 2004, (maybe you saw me there under the name “myotismon”), and it was a ripe place for Google information, and Gmail help, back before Google started their much improved support section.  Way back then we lived on refreshing the Google Labs homepage for new stuff.  When Google X was released, and quickly taken down, we had a field day speculating about it.

But that wasn’t the only thing, we were ripe with rumors.  The two biggest were that Google would release a browser of their own, and that Google would release an operating system of their own.  As of today, those two rumors have been proven true.  Ok, Google Chrome was released last September, but whatever.  Today Google announced Google Chrome OS, and if Gmailforums still existed, I can guarantee that there would be a flurry of activity on it all day, and into the weekend.

I always was one of the supporters of a Google based operating system, saying that there was no need for another browser on the market (granted, a standards complaint browser is nice, but just another one I have to make sure my code works in).  However, Chrome has proven itself a worthy application.

Back in 2004 there was no such thing as a netbook, or a lightweight OS, so things have changed in the years since.  It’s probably for the better too because as well as Windows 7, or Windows XP or Mac OSX work on the limited hardware of a netbook, they are still optimized for something much larger and more powerful.  By starting from the ground up with the Linux kernel, Google is in position to make a beautifully crafted OS specially tailored to the small form factors of netbooks.  I’m talking about the GUI, and the interface, Google has always used keyboard shortcuts, they would be right to integrate simple ones in their OS.  Chrome is already very minimal in it’s interface, and if Google takes that design to heart, the OS will be nice and simple too.

There’s tons of time to speculate about it though, because the Code wont be open sourced till later this year, and the first actual hardware we can see won’t be until 2010.  Hopefully Google will release the final version as standalone, and let other users install it on their own non-netbook computers.   All of that will be known in good time, but now it’s time for speculation.

Google now has your emails, term papers, photos, address, calendar, finances, reading list, and browsing history. What could they be doing with all that information?  Plotting world domination I say.  They have everything necessary to blackmail 90% of the world, or, scarier yet, confuse the world.  How much more information do computers need to gather about us before they are able to make virtual worlds for us to inhabit kinda like The Matrix?  Probably a while still, but it’s on track.  I’m not saying that you shouldn’t use Google, if there’s one company that I trust my information to, it is Google, and besides, all my most important things are written down in multiple Book Ciphers and in a hardened bunker.  Good luck figuring out that robot overlords!!!

For along time now users have trusted Google with many things from their email, to their photos, to their term papers, to their lives.

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Adolf Hitler is 120 years old!

Hitler Moasic

Today marks the birthday of the world’s oldest non-living dictator, Adolf Hitler!  120 years ago today he was born in Austria, he went on to try and become an artist, but didn’t do so hot, so instead he went for world domination.  A pretty nice secondary goal if you ask me.

The failed Führer started his run to greatness in 1923, but was unsuccessful in that too.  So he was thrown in jail for a few months, where he wrote Mein Kampf, his handbook for the future.   Over the course of the next 10 years, he slowly, and legally built up a following, that eventually led to his appointment as Chancellor of Germany in January 1933 by Hindenburg.  He used the disastrous outcome of WWI for Germany, and the global depression to snowball his way into the hearts of the German people.

In another few years he got the Nuremberg Laws passed, which allowed him to begin his crusade against the Jews, and other undesirables.

In 1938, TIME magazine named Adolf Hitler their Person of the Year, and a scant year later, That person started The Greatest War in the history of the world.

After a series of unfortunate events which led to Germany’s defeat, Adolf Hitler was reported to have committed suicide with his new bride, Eva Braun.  However, there are widespread reports that Hitler, along with other high ranking members of The SS escaped to South America, Argentina being the most likely place, and are lying in wait to begin again new on the Fourth Reich.

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Skynet Research has sent me an email.  They claim that everyone can make a difference.  I believe them.  If we all band together, we can prevent the robot overthrow of our culture.  I know Skynet Research is a viral advertising method for the new Terminator Salvation movie (which I am excited for), but I cannot help but express my fears for our future right now.

We live in a world were the number of robots per worker is on the rise, were simple everyday things that humans do is being replaced by lifeless, fearless, soulless robotic beings, who’s only guiding force in this world is to overcome it’s masters, us.  Most robots are meant to go places that humans can’t or shouldn’t go.

But tell me, if you saw this rescuing you from a fire what would you think? You’d probably think, crap, the time has come, I’m gone.  What’s more, these types of robots are programed to collect humans already, so when the inevitably become self aware, they will have far little reprogramming to undergo before they can be shipped to the front lines to clean up the robot’s advance.

And if that’s not enough, this cute little guy was made with the best intentions, but when they turn, all I can say is carry a knife with you.  This “robot dog” is nice and useful on the front lines, it carries you’re ammo, and supplies, and whatnot, but it can also carry other robots, or guns, or both.  What we have here is the first Calvary of the new robot army.

If there’s one advantage we have over the robots right now, it’s that none of them look like humans, they all look like robots, or aliens. Not anymore with this new technology, it mimic the texture of a human face, providing all sorts of levels of wrongness to come.

Perhaps its just these next and last two images that bother me the most.

Here we have the original Terminator laughing at what he will one day become.  How sad and scary this sight is.  Surly he must realize the irony of the situation here.  The role that made him famous is about to come true, and he is grinning at it!

Seriously, wtf people.  Why is there a robotic T-Rex?  Are you trying to make it easier for them the devour us?  The only way it could be worse was if it was a raptor.  But with the way things are going now, that probably won’t be too far off.   I hope they just don’t use the flawed logic that John Hammond used in doing it.

{Robot photos}

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The Lucky Best Stumbles 7

Ah, December, the time of Winter, snow, Christmas lights, cold, and Pearl Harbor.  Today is December 1, and to celebrate the greatness of the month of December, the 12th, and final month of the year 2008, I want to welcome to the world, my favorite stumbles from the past month. There are some good ones, and some interesting ones, there are not nearly as many as previous lists, but that’s because I’ve been extra busy doing non-stumble related stuff recently.

Now this introduction has gone on long enough I think.  But I’m not sure.  I don’t think I’ve properly introduced the last single digit prime number.  7 is the last single digit prime, and a wonderful example of uniqueness.  Not until we get to number 17 will we see another 7, luckily it is also a prime, now that doesn’t mean much, except that there is another 7 prime to look for.  17 is a nice number, actually, I’ll tell you a secret, stick a 7 on the end of any number, and I will most likely like it.  Except 77, that’s a stupid number.

If you look closely, the time this post was published was 7:07:07am EST.  that’s how much I like the number 7.  In reality though, i like the number 11 best, for obvious reasons.  117 by extension is high up on my favorite numbers list.

Well now that I’ve told you a bunch of “interesting?” facts about me, lets get to the images I thought were hilarious and you no doubt will find in bad taste and call me childish names in the comments, but don’t worry, I know who you are all…

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Secret Passageways

So, not only am I going to build my own house, but, I am going to build some secret rooms, and passageways into my house.  I was thinkin of doing it all myself, but, I think i may entrust Creative Home Engineering to do it for me, they are professionals, and when you look at their gallery of designes they’ve made, I have to agree with them, thats some good work.

And, you can have it be just like movies, and stuff, twist a candlestick, or pull the third book on the second shelf from the top on the right side.  They also think about your security, and will install fingerprint readers and other biometric safety devices.  Holy crap, this is an awesome company!


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Gmail Custom Time

One of the more interesting features to be given to Gmail is it’s new Custom Time feature.  It allows you to send an email with a timestamp in the past, which will show up in correct chronological order in the user’s inbox!  You can even send it to be marked as read already!  To avoid tempral-paradoxies, and the like, they utilize the new, efficent, e-flux capacitor, and smartly, do not allow you to send email to before April 01, 2004.  Also, they only give you 10 uses of this new feature per year, citing some pretty advanced math for the reason.

I havent used it yet because I only have 10, and I want to use them for something that counts.  But I can’t wait till I do.  All the testomionals (save 1) praise it!

On a real note, I hope Gmail does get some new features today, it has turned 4.

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How to make a Great Conspiracy Theory

So, you want to start a conspiracy theory huh?  One that achieves the same level of success of the Roswell Incident? Think it’s as easy as just making some shit up do you?  Well, you’re only partially correct.  It is easy, but also requires some research, after all, what good is a conspiracy theory, if a simple Google search shows how unbelievably wrong you are.

4 simple steps after the click:

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Future Robot Skin?

Reseachers in France have developed self healing rubber.  While that may sound like an amazing discovery and have endless uses such as:

for seals and another is for toys which are broken by kids every day

I see a more sinister use for it, what exactly am I thinking, oh I don’t know, maybe the skin of this guy:

Or, more specifically, the rubber skin of the 600 series, as the T 800 is living tissue, and the T 600 was rubber.

The mere fact that we as humans have developed this rubber technology is a step in the wrong direction.  And every step we take to make it more green, and more efficient only brings us as a species one step closer to our own doom.

While it is impossible to unlearn this science (without grave damage done to the planet, or civilization), it is possible to cease the funding that helps these sciences, and unfortunately, it is the only possible solution to this future problem

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5 Easy Steps To World Domination

Everyone wants to rule the world at one point in their lives, but, not everyone has the ability, or know how on how to do it. This is another area where I’ve done alot of thinking about, and I want to share the steps I’ve come up with with you all. So, if you want to rule the world, just click the link below:

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Tetris, will it help destroy us?

Ahh Tetris, it is my all time favorite video game ever. I make regular posts about it, but little did I know just how much it is going into helping with the creation of AI.

Tetris A.I. has actually been in development for quite some time now, 5 years and counting, and yes, it has been evolving.  The findings show that a computer can play Tetris better then a human can.  This is frightening.  For Tetris is the most simple of games, and easy for humans to master (I am awesome at Tetris), But teaching robots to play Tetris, that is taking it too far, for once they master that (which they have), then it’s a simple step onto mastering other games, and, then making games, and then, how long before they make the perfect game, The Matrix?

Not long at all, we must stop this research NOW! The sooner we end research into A.I. the longer we as a species will be able to live (provided no one goes crazy)