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Agent Smith?!

jdbrew linked to this video explaining an insane (what I’m calling Fan) theory regarding The Matrix.

I don’t want to spoil it for you, but I understand that it’s 15 minutes long which include an unnecessary minute long intro, and (on my watch 2 (two)) pre-roll ads.

Anyway, read the title of the post, then think what Neo is supposed to be, then switch them up. That’s the gist of this theory. Yes it was posted 5 years ago, yes I am just seeing it today. Deal with it.

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30 Years

It’s been Thirty years since Los Angeles joined the ranks of cities whose only qualification was to be a victim of a terrorist act.  Though, were they really terrorists?  Their own ranks called themselves exceptional thieves, and one-time kidnappers, not terrorists.  No Hans Grubber and his pals were opportunists, and only cared about money, $600 million worth.  A simple police officer from New York City in town to visit his wife and kids was what messed it all up for them.

Yes, Die Hard is 30 years old this year.  And last December, the Library of Congress selected Die Hard (among 24 other films) it’s …cultural, historic and/or aesthetic importance.  Yes Die Hard fits the bill for all three of those qualifications.  It’s a master piece that holds up surprisingly well given the time period.  I dare you to find another action movie from the 80s which isn’t incredible dated with cheese lines and effects.  I dare you to find another heist movie where the score is still a relevant sum of money 30 years later.  Six Hundred Million Dollars was a lot of money in 1988, it’s still a lot of money in 2018.  When it comes to money, so often the sums are in reasonable ranges for the time period and with inflation, they seem petty by current standards.  No, it will be quite a while (if ever) when $600 million is seen as petty).  Heck, even Ocean’s 11 (which itself is 17 years old already!) was only taking home $160 million.

So, take a seat, grab some popcorn, (or Twinkies), and watch this Christmas classic, even if Bruce Willis says it’s not.

{Library of Congress}

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Renovation is complete

Nakatomi Tower

My trip this past weekend brought me down to Los Angeles, city of Angels.  It is also the home of Fox Plaza, which served as the setting for the greatest film of all time, Die Hard. Naturally, being in  Los Angeles for the first time, I had to visit this monument to film making.  You will be happy to know that the building is still standing, and it does accurately match the film of 30 years ago.

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The Ocean Maker

You really should watch this 10 minute short film called The Ocean Maker:

It’s short, there’s no dialog, but it’s touching.  There’s just enough story to get the general idea of what’s going on, mixed in with just enough plot.  Additionally, it was made in just under 2 months on an Island in the Caribbean.  It looks like it takes place in Australia though.  It reminds me of the reverse of Water World.  I hope that they submit this for the 2016 Oscars.  It’s perfect for the short animated feature category.

{The Cloud Appreciation Society}

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movie the greatest video

Happy 4th Of July

This film is on Encore for the entire day.  Watch it at least once, or you’re not a true American.

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Famous Movie Cars

Cars play a big part in films.  I’m sure there are a handful of cars that you can name just from movies.  Well, Jesús Prudencio, over at Cars and Films.com has taken some famous cars form movies, and made posters for them.

Back to the Future poster

I’ll be honest with you, I usually hate these minimalist posters that defy the whole purpose of movie posters, being able to get excited about a film, because you usually need to have some knowledge of the movie before you understand what’s going on.  At least Prudencio has added the title of the film to these posters.

Mr. Bean car poster

How often does Mr. Bean get acknowledged?  Not often enough, that’s for sure.

So this poster is one I was talking about above, unless you know the film, you have no idea what it’s about:

Christmas Vacation car poster

I won’t give you and hints, try and figure it out in the comments.

Also, as imgur user dapperest said, No Batmobile, how is that possible?

 

{imgur}

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2014 Movies

It’s still early in the year, but a few movies are standing out as entertainers.  Sure there’s the regular crop of super hero action movies, but everyone’s going to see those, not that the two movies I’m going to highlight below will be under the radar films to any extent.  Anyways…

Say what you want about Michael Bay, 9 times out of 10, his movies are entertaining.  They might be low on plot, but I don’t exactly expect plot when I go to see a Michael Bay film.  Oh well, I’ll never win over some people so let’s just get to it:

This summer Bay returns to The Transformers universe with Transformers: Age of Extinction.  And, I must say, this movie looks head and shoulders better then the previous Transformers entries.  Most of that is due to the removal of Shia Labeouf’s character, and replacing him with a new character, played by Mark Wahlberg.

This doesn’t look like a full reboot, more like as Andrew over at Filmonic says, of something happening in parallel.  It looks good, and honestly, I thought the 3rd Transformers film was pretty decent, better then the 2nd one (but that’s not saying much really)

This next film though is in a class far outside of Transformers, or Michael Bay.  Interstellar is Christopher Nolan’s next release, and while the trailer doesn’t really give much (it is a teaser after all):

Matthew McConaughey is in this, and I don’t remember where I read it, but someone claimed we were in the midst of a McConassance, (or some form of that spelling).  What with his recent Academy Award for what looked like a great performance (I unfortunately didn’t get a chance to see Dallas Buyers Club), but his narration on that teaser alone makes me want to see this film.  Forget about Nolan.

Oh well, Transformers is a regular summer blockbuster, while Interstellar is currently a November release, maybe an awards movie attempt?

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Jurassic Park Posters

That is the original theatrical poster for the film Jurassic Park.  It’s simple, classic really, perhaps one of the greatest film posters ever made.  There’s not much to it:

  • Film Name – check
  • Tagline – check
  • Some way to ascertain what the film might be about – check
  • Famous person in/director – check

The Short List (besides having a fucking terrible site to navigate (I already accidentally clicked on your FULL SITE MEN IN BLACK III ad, please let me read the article now)), put together a list of a bunch of alternative views of that iconic poster.

I’ll save you some trouble of going to that site and trying to read anything, and tell you that they are all minimalist, “retro”, modern, bull shit versions of that iconic poster.

Perhaps it’s because most all of them make heavy use of vector art, which I absolutely hate.  It just looks too clean, too perfect, to unnatural.  Vector art has it’s uses, when it’s done correctly it looks (and more importantly scales) great.  But most all the vector artwork I’ve ever seen by people online is crap, and 2 of the following 3 posters fall into that category:

I picked a few that I thought were worth a closer look, I’ll start in no particular order with This one means nothing.

Go through the original check list I had above, this fulfills two things, and that’s it.  Yes, I’ll give you that it’s a pretty clever design, but it’s only clever to someone who’s seen the film.  The point of a movie poster is to get people interested in a film they have yet to see.  The above poster, not interested at all.

This one is the closest to the original poster, and perhaps why I like it best.  In fact, of all the ones they choose, this is the most true to the original, and the least retro.  There’s no perfect vector lines, it’s dirty, and choppy, and let’s you know that this isn’t going to be a clean kids movie.  Granted, it could very well be all done in vector, but the artist spent time to make it look good, he “aged” it so to speak.  It’s a good forgery.  Where as all these other ones are giveaways.

This one wins the WTF award:

Seriously, I have no idea what’s going on there.  None.

  • Film name – MISSING
  • Tag line – MISSING
  • Some sort of plot – MISSING
  • Famous people – MISSING

Can someone look at this and not think of children’s coloring book, or something similar?

Anyway, in closing I’d like to say stop trying to reinvent something perfect, I bet all the people who made these/like these posters are people who hate The Special Editions of Star Wars, these are no different.

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awesome movie the greatest video

Iron Sky

Remember Iron Sky?  It’s an independent film about Nazi’s from The Moon, who invade earth in the year 2018.  I’m particularly fond of the line “Man kind’s greatest enemy”  It has a certain ring to it.  If you didn’t pay attention to the giant swastika base you’d think they were actual aliens.

I was initially concerned about it. Well, mostly about the fact that it would never actually get made.  Or it would clearly look like a cheap low budget independent film.

No, this trailer has appeased all of my initial concerns, and I am eagerly awaiting it’s release.  I’ve Demanded it in my area, you should demand it in my area too (NY).  Then you can demand it in your area.

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Speed is awesome

This picture has been staring at me for the past few weeks and I’ve been meaning to post it I’ve just been busy with a big redesign process.  Don’t worry the new theme should go live sometime this week.  Anyway that ad for Netflix was in my Google Reader when I got to that post.  I thought it was hilarious.  Now granted, for many people, Speed will be included on that list, (or most likely just a list of horrible movies), but for this particular listverse list, it was absent.

I find it hilarious that Netflix knows so much about me.  But knowing what I know from where I work, that doesn’t surprise me.  In fact what does is that they choose Speed to be shown instead of Die Hard, or any Bruce Willis film for that matter.  Because let’s face it, I can list a half dozen Bruce Willis movies that are so bad they’re awesome.  Chief among them, Hudson Hawk.

Notice that I said that the films are so bad they’re awesome, not hilarious.  There’s a difference, hilarious can still be bad, awesome is the exact opposite of bad.  So Hudson Hawk is so bad that it’s good, awesomely good.  How does that work?  Don’t ask questions.