Tag: Conspiracy

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Alternate History Thursday: Broadway

It is the year 1999, the world is struggling to come up with a solution to the Y2k bug.  Similar to how speculation was in our existing reality, there were contrasting theories as to just how widespread the potential damage would be.  Exactly like our world, doomsdayers were preparing for the worst  This included governments, who had the knowledge that the general public lacked.  Y2k was going to happen, there was no stopping it, there was no fixing it, technology was too far spread, too far distributed, even with the beginnings of the internet, there was no conceivable way to fix the issue everywhere.  Secretly, the United States Federal government began disconnecting all of it’s infrastructure from the internet.  They dictated to the individual states to do the same, but the thing that makes America Great is the sovereignty of each individual state.  Many states were at the mercy of their elected officials, and it did not help things when the Fed didn’t publicly endorse disconnection.

New York State was always one to do it’s own thing, regardless of who was in charge of the nation.  The Governor of the state, and more specifically, the Mayor of New York City were both big Y2k deniers.  So, while the federal government was busy preparing for the worst technological disaster to ever happen, NY was busy preparing for the party to end all parties.  Even though power stations, water, and gas supplies were disconnected from the internet, their function was still provided.  Much to the happiness of the populace.  It would be this dependency that ends up undoing everything.

As always, check after the jump to read this story with the music playing along.  It’s better, trust me.

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Person of Interest Season 4

Is finally available on Netflix to stream to your heart’s content.  Get on that because it’s totally worth it.  You gotta watch it so that CBS will realize just how good of a show it is and renew it for a 6th season.  Season 5 has finished filming but has no premier date yet.  It’s either going to be in spring, or summer of this year.  I’m hoping it’s a summer premier, and a summer show.  This way it will have much less competition and potentially have a chance to shine and grow and get renewed.  At least, one can hope that is.  Until then, just watch it on Netflix, really, is it that hard?  It’s such a good show too.  Here, I’ll show you:

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DIY Satellite Ground Station

3-D printing, cheap electronics, and the sheer number of things up in space means that now is a booming time to try and connect to the satellites.

The SatNOGS project aims to make it small, mass-producible satellites that can be easily, and cheaply put into LEO.  The new problem is that this rush of satellites being put up there produce too much data for the limited number of people on the ground to listen in and consume that data.

This proof of concept shows how it’s possible for an average person with some basic knowledge of the science at play can easily connect to a satellite that’s beaming down information all the time.  This allows people to be listening all the time, and also gives you access to the RAW data from the satellite, allowing you to form all sorts of conspiracies that you want with it.  There’s an entire network that you can connect to that allow you to work on a schedule, and be all automated.  Yet another job that computers and robots are taking away from humans, proving that computers and robots are the universal illegal-aliens.

{MAKE}

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Weird Al is Still Awesome

Weird Al has released a new album, Mandatory Fun, which has a very Commie vibe to the cover art, I’m torn between if I should like it, or hate it.  Whatever, buy it.  But if you’re not convinced that Al is a lyrical genius, then take a look at some of this latest videos, oh, did you know he’s releasing a new music video for a different song every day for 8 days.  The song above, Word Crimes, is a parody of Blurred Lines, I like it because of it’s kinetic typography style.

Tacky is I think my favorite, even though I absolutely hate the song it’s based on.

The other two he’s released are Foil, which, after I watched it again, I remember that I love it:

Mostly for the strange location it goes in on the 2nd verse, it makes the song so much better.  I mean, Weird Al, was known for his food songs in the past, but this one is better.

I don’t like his latest one though, Handy:

As a bonus, here’s a DIY video someone made of his Hardware Store song, based on Harry Potter’s Dumbledore:

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People Should Not Be Afraid of Their Governments

But, Governments should not be afraid of their people either.  There needs to be a balance between the two.  I’m not one to start a descussion about that, I’d rather have a hand made bunker under ground in the mountains somewhere, so that when the shit hits the fan, I can survive, and go on to lead the revolution.

Anyway, did you know that October is the National Cybersecurity Awareness Month.  I didn’t know that, but whatever.  There are all sorts of ways to protect yourself online, all sorts of simple things that get repeated day after day after day on blog after blog after blog, so much so, that most people don’t listen to them anymore (if ever).  Well I’m gonna change that.  Right now, after the click is a list of ways that, if you follow, will make you incredibly hard to track, crack, and smack you online.  Be warned though, as these methods are so crazy that even I don’t follow all of them (yet).

Disclaimer Everything you do online can be found out by anyone with enough time, resources, and dedication.  The very act of connecting your computer to the internet is sometimes enough for someone to find out every single thing about you.  No amount of firewalls, proxies, encryption, or safeguards can protect you from a sentient computer program hell bent on using your credit card to purchase bootleg copies of The Gillmore Girls Season 3 DVD set and then using those in an elaborate series of murders designed to bring down the entire Eastern World.  (And do not even think of an excuse why that will not happen, because it already has!)

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Aliens want us to destroy the planet!

Look at that broken wind turbine over in England.  Guess how it happened, you’ll never guess it.  That’s right, a UFO caused it.  Well, at least this post seems to think so, and hey, who’s to say they’re wrong.  Now let’s analyze the situation we know nothing about, which we didn’t witness, and come to conclusions that only make sense in our minds, and then shun those who disagree with us, just like a High School English teacher does!

First, why were the aliens attracted to this area of the world?  Clearly it has something to do with the wind turbines there, this is obvious as they destroyed one.  But why did they destroy it? In order to ask why, we first must ask how.  One could argue that the ship flew through the turbine, but that’s a silly argument, because alien ships are excellent fliers, and can pull of stunts and maneuvers that no human plane can dream of doing.  So accidentally crashing into the spinning turbine is out of the question.  No, this was a deliberate act against the well being of the turbine.  Now, we can ask why.

At first you might think that the aliens are just joking and want to piss us off.  Well, when they get in that mood, they get much more personal, and abduct us and play around with our personal time line.  That’s much more fun then breaking a wind turbine.  The aliens broke this turbine because they want to send a message.  That message is wind power is wrong.  Why is it wrong, maybe it ruins the landscape, maybe its in the way of airports (for UFOs), maybe its not efficient, maybe its not reliable, maybe its too loud, the true answer we’ll have to ask the aliens that, but the fact remains, it is wrong.

What would the aliens rather us use?  Well they seem to have no problems with nuclear power plants.  If they did you think they would be attacking them and condemning us for building them.  But no, the first recorded hostile attack by UFOs is on a renewable energy wind farm.  What does that tell you?  Well, it tells me that we should start burning more coal.  And oil, and maybe even go back to unleaded gasoline, just to be safe.  Because all of those places haven’t been attacked by UFOs in the 100+ year history of them existing.

Clearly this means something?  Or are you too dense to see it?  I can see it, the aliens are trying to show us that the whole idea of global warming is a fraud, and it’s something we’ve wasted billions of dollars on.  They want us to stop spending money on global warming, and start spending it on research into communication with them.  This way they can tell us why it’s a fraud, and what we can do to stop it.

It’s clear that the aliens intended to destroy the whole wind farm, except the loud bang and noise that was reported by the locals scared them off.  You see, aliens are not used to creating lout noises in our atmosphere, their technology is silent, and as i said above, many times more advanced then ours.  Our technology is primitive and loud.  We should be happy because this time, our technology won the battle with the aliens.

That’s my interpertation of the events in that English yard.  What are yours?  For homework you are to write a 2 page paper (2 sentence comment will sufice), on why the aliens choose to destroy the wind turbine.  I am grading these, and you will fail if you even pretend to form your own opinion that is contradictory to the mine.

There we go, perfect rendition of a High School English teacher.

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The Egyptians Knew Things

Ah, how I love a good conspiracy theory, the older it is, the harder it is to disprove, making it just as likely to be right as wrong, which is perfect, because some of the most interesting ones involve multi-thousand year old artifacts.

Here are two Hieroglyphs, what do you see:


Well, some people see these things:

There are a few more comparisons over at lost civilizations.

Well, I won’t be one to judge, but I can come up with some pretty interesting theories, and I beleive some pretty interesting ones too.

For instance, I think it is true that the Great Pyramids of Giza and the Sphinx are around 10,000-12,000 years old.  Specifically, they were built around 10,400 B.C.E.  Why do I say that, well for one, the three pyramids line up perfectly with the stars of Orion’s belt, circa 10,400 B.C.E.  For another, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that there was thousands of years worth of water errosion around the bases of them.

Don’t take my word for it though, read this lovely article which goes into more detail then I have, including more things about the past of the pyramids.  There’s also a whole bunch of other useful interesting information and facts about them here (gotta love the web circa 1999).

Now, say you don’t beleive a word of what was said there, you cannot deny that all around the world at pretty much the same time, pyramids were built.  What’s the deal with that.  If you can reasonably explain why people in South America, Northern Africa, and Eastern Asia separated by thousands of miles, all decided “hey, pyramids are cool, lets build giant ones of those” then you deserve a cookie.

Truthfully, i think that aliens did have something to do with the pyramids, there’s just too much unanswered there.  If you want to go more back, I think aliens are the reason sentient life exists on this planet, but that’s another story, for another time.

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The Ice Bullet Conspiracy with a Twist

This takes the whole Ice Bullet idea to new levels.  No longer will people need to make their own molds for their own traceless assassination plots. Just get this fancy ice tray for $15.

For an extra twist, put these Uranium marbles into the ice tray before you freeze it.  This way you have a double effect of the bullet tearing apart the flesh, some radiation poisoning happening too.

Now, there aren’t very manu Uranium glass makers left in the world, so if you want to get away with no trace, then putting the marbles inside would probably not work too well, but it adds a whole nother level of dedicated craziness to your assassination that can only be admired from afar (I am so easily ammused at that pun I just made).

Now, if anyone wants to get me a gift, those Uranium marbles would be good, and the AK-47 bullet ice tray would be good, but get them together, and that would be awesome…I am going to kill myself one day…