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awesome internet movie video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxot9lk58Zw&feature=player_embedded

I rarely link to Cracked articles, mostly because they’re such a combination of generic and awesome, and because 700 thousand other websites link to the same one and just add to the fluff of unoriginal content on the internet.  But this Easter Egg article has a pretty awesome one in it, and so I decided to link to it.  But keep in mind that I’m only focusing on one of their random number of Awesome Easter Eggs they only just discovered.

I like Easter Eggs, infact, I LOVE them.  If there’s one thing I like doing it’s taking apart a movie and connecting it in ways that are not allowed to every other movie ever made.

I most famously did this with (almost) every Sean Bean movie he ever made.  Connecting my two favorites of his, Goldeneye & National Treasure in an amazing and efficent way that just screams yes, this is what the director was thinking when he cast Sean Bean as the main villain of National Treasure.

Anyway, back to The Simpsons. – McBane is a cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dirty Harry, & John McClain, so in essence, the greatest fictional cartoon super hero ever conceived.  What makes it even better, is that when all the clips that feature McBane are edited together – like in the above video, they produce a relatively coherent story, and an actual movie.  Would I go see that movie had it been real, maybe, probably not, but maybe.

I don’t know what would be better though, if this story were planned out from the beginning, or if it were just random.  Turns out it was just random, but like I said, I don’t know if it being random is more cool, or if it had been planned would it be more cool.

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awesome computer movie science strange the greatest

2012 – NASA’s worst Science Movie EVER

I will be the first to defend overly unrealistic film plots as just that –  film plots meant solely to entertain audiences for 2 hours.  Some of “the worst scientific movies ever” I enjoy.  Armageddon – infamous for having at least 168 inaccuracies, is one of my all time favorite films.  And The Core, fuck you that was a great movie, alittle long, but great.  Volcano, another action movie with a plot so ridiculous it takes alot not to laugh at it, but it was a good movie.

All that being said there comes a point when even I can’t suspend my disbelief enough to wrap my head around the plot of a movie that is so predictable, so bad in it’s science, and so unnecessarily long that you watch it if only to see if the writers really did just do that.

2012 is one of those movies.

I summed up 2012 in one accurate sentence I think – the prequel to Waterworld no one asked for.

The difference between all the movies i listed above – Armageddon, The Core, Volcano, & Waterworld and 2012 is that the former movies are enjoyable, and good (I love Waterworld).  2012 is just plain bad.  Be it the science, which doesn’t exist.  The world wide conspiracy to save the planet on arks meant to save a couple hundred thousand people, and conveniently 2 of each animal.  Building it in China – are you serious, the fate of the world rests in the hands of those commies the Chinese?  I’d rather take my chances alone.  And of all the places that managed to survive the rising water, Africa is the number one place.  I’d rather risk my life on those Chinese arks then dare set foot on the African continent, ever.

All these combine into the worst 3 hours ever.  Which is how long that movie is, just under 3 hours.  I didn’t think it was possible at first, but Ronald Emmerich made a worse movie then The Day After Tomorrow which I wont even go into for how ridiculous that was.

{The website at the end of the Universe | The Australian}

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internet movie video

Would you like an Apple Pie with that?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFQyib5ZQZY&feature=related

Well would you punk?

That’s right, it’s the time honored tradition of annoying the piss out of you, and it couldn’t have come any earlier.  I expect you to watch that, and have it stuck in your head for the rest of the day.  You’re welcome.

Now, allow Bruce Willis to welcome you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIfNtUttcYk

To the Deadly Computer Blog Holiday Extravaganza!!!

Ok, I just wanted a reason to post include that video, and really, I don’t need a reason to include Mr. Willis.

{Ding fries are Done}

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awesome movie the greatest video

The Expendables gets anew trailer

And it’s good.  Watch it, you don’t need any other motivation now.

Also, I’m bummed that they moved it back to August, cause everyone knows that studios dumb the movies they don’t expect to get good reviews in August.  And honestly anyone who gives this a bad review is in for a problem.  It just looks so badass awesome that it will be good.  Like Snakes on a Plane, only with more explosions, and less dumb.

anyway, enjoy the trailer, and count the days till August. {Filmonic}

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internet movie science the greatest

People with no imagination should not be allowed to speak

Here’s a scenario.  You’re sitting down in a movie theater, watching Bruce Willis single handedly kill 12 terrorists, steal all the money in your bank, end the plot of a rouge animal rights group, save the planet, and kick some asteroid ass.  Now at one point you may be thinking that Bruce Willis is the movie equivalent of Chuck Norris, you would be wrong as as awesome as Bruce Willis is, he is not nearly awesome enough to tackle the Chuck himself.

Any Hootie and The Blowfish, let’s move back to what I’m trying to say, movies are fake.

You know that, I know that, 12 year olds know that, Doctors of Physics, and other learned people seem to have missed the common sense train.  It seems that certain professors, and scientists want to limit the number of impossible things that movies can do.  They want to limit it to one or two occurrences per movie.  I’m sorry what part of the word fiction do they not understand?

For those of you in the unknown, here’s the definition according to Google:

Fiction refers to books and stories about imaginary people and events, rather than books about real people or events

Now when I go see a movie, I automatically think, man, I wish that was doable in real life, and then realize, I’m watching a movie.  That’s not so much a leap of faith as it is a matter of common sense.  Most of the movie going world can make that realization.  It’s a shame those people can’t make that jump really, because all it shows is that they have no imagination.

Sure you could make a scientifically accurate film where everything is all peachy, and it takes 70 years to fly across the solar system.  But why would you watch it?  What would it be about?  How would you keep it interesting?

A movie’s main purpose is to entertain people.  Not to give you an accurate representation of how science works, that’s school’s job.

I like this guy’s article, but he doesn’t really say much against this new idea, just explains a whole lot about producing a TV/movie, vs. showing that same scene in an actual movie/tv show.

Whatever, I guess I’m just gonna fall back on the old adage of, it’s a movie, now shut the fuck up I’m trying to watch this.

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a stumble awesome internet movie video

The most exciting movie never made

50 movie trailers from the last year or so combined to make one actually interesting looking film.  I would pay $10 to go see it, (hell, it has Bruce Willis in it, I’m already sold).  {source}

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awesome movie the greatest video

The Expendables Trailer

This  movie is destined to be the most kick-ass movie of 2010, if not ever.  The Expendables has just about every terrorist killing, ass kicking, name taking, day saving, awesome guy Hollywood has ever produced.

  • Bruce Willis check
  • Sylvester Stallone – check
  • Jason Statham – check
  • Arnold “The Governator” Schwarzenegger – check
  • Jet Li – check
  • Nick Searcy – check
  • "Stone Cold" Steve Austin – check

The only person missing is Chuck Norris!

There’s even a scene with Bruce, Arnold, and Stallone all at once.  I don’t think there has ever been, or there ever will be more men on screen at one time who have killed more bad guys.

Needless to say, this movie is going to be the definition of awesome next year.  If you didn’t watch the trailer above, I’m posting it again at the bottom, that’s how awesome this movie will be.

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awesome internet the greatest video

The Expendables

The Expendables is gonna be awesome!  I first saw this a few weeks ago.  It’s a movie written and directed by Sylvester Stallone.  It has every action star you can imagine.  Yes, a cameo by Arnold.  And what cemented my viewing of this film was the cameo by Bruce Willis.

Who cares about the plot, or the script, or anything really.  It has Arnold, and Willis, and Statham, and Nick Searcy, among other people.  This is gonna be a kick ass movie.  Just to see all these guys on screen at the same time shooting guns, punching people, and having a grand ‘ol time, it’s magic.  We just need Alan Rickman, Sean Bean, and Ed Harris on the bad guys list, and it would be even better!

{Filmonic}

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awesome internet movie the greatest video

100 great movie lines

All within 200 seconds.  Now, 200 seconds may not seem like a long time, but in reality, it’s almost 4  minutes. There are plenty of good lines on here, a few omissions, and, from the look/sound of it, it was a pg rated list.  Cause “Welcome to the party pal” isn’t really the most quoted line from Die Hard.  If I had my way, I’d choose one (ok, probably all) of these:

  • I’m Agent Johnson, this is Special Agent Johnson, no relation.
  • We’re gonna need some more FBI guys I guess
  • Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho
  • Karl, schieß auf das fenster
  • Let’s see you take *this* under advisement, jerkweed!
  • Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you’re already dead.
  • Authorization? How about the United States FUCKING government? Lose the grid, or you lose your job.
  • Oh my God, the quarterback is TOAST!
  • Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.
  • Happy trails, Hans

I was glad to see some Terminator, and Star Wars in there. One glaring omission:

Kahnnnnnn!
I can’t think of any other one’s they’re missing. I mean, I can quote a bunch of other movies, but while I think those quotes are amazing, I don’t think they qualify as the best.

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awesome internet movie the greatest video

The Michael Bay Movie


ShoWest 2009 Michael Bay Tribute from Bay Films/Michael Bay Dot Com on Vimeo.
I am a fan of Michael Bay, my second most favorite movie of all time was directed by him.  Along with a handfull of other awesome movies.  Michaelbay.com has combined clips of all his movies into one awesome trailer for the man himself. It’s full of Michael Bay explosions, and action, like only Michael Bay can deliver. {Filmonic}