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Deadly Computer photo the greatest

123 years ago

Did you really think I’d forget to post this today?

Hitler Moasic

What are you crazy?  April 20th, and December 7th are the only two guaranteed days you will get a post from me.  I will guarantee that forever.  And you know what that means, it’s in the books.

Any Hootie and the Blowfish, let’s talk about Hitler, it’s been awhile since we’ve had a Nazi post, or even a WW2 post in general.  That needs to change, drastically.  And so without further ado I will start you with a tease, the beginning of the end of all those multi part posts I started over the years.  Yes that’s right all of them*

I’m not gonna end them all now, that’d be crazy talk, but I will let you know that the thoughts are brewing, and my brain is thinking, and I guarantee you will not like what I have to say.  I also guarantee that you will not be able to understand what I say. And, I also guarantee that I’ve been rambling enough and am going to go to bed, but, be prepared, for the future holds many promising things.

*maybe not all of them, I’m honest.

**also I am aware that the title of this post is eerily similar to last year’s, I also don’t care.

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Deadly Computer the greatest

122 years ago

The person who shaped the modern world was born:

Hitler mosaic

Yes, like it or not, Adolf Hitler is responsible for the world as we know it today.  He started World War 2, and in the process ushered in the Golden Age of America.  An America that saved the world from him.

We could go back and think about how the world would be different had Hitler not risen to power, not started World War 2, not done all the things he’s most famous for, but what fun would that be?

People always tend to focus on the bad that he did, and I won’t sugar coat it, he was directly responsible for quite alot of terrible things.  But it’s the things that he’s indirectly responsible for that no one takes into account.

  • The Jet Age
  • The Space Age
  • The Nuclear Age
  • The Computer Age

All those things had beginnings in WW2 era Germany, and many, many more along with it.

The V-2 rocket was the first ballistic missile, and the predecessor to the famous Titan I, and Saturn V.

So go ahead and create your time machine and go back in time and kill Hitler before he’s born, or allow him to go to art school like he always wanted, just be perpared for a different world when you return.  Unless of course your method of time travel is via the multi-worlds theory, (Which, for all intents and purposes, is the only way time travel will work), you could conveniently kill Hitler, and return to a version of the present where all the stuff after WW2 happened, just not WW2.

Although, if you’re gonna go through the trouble of traveling to another dimension, why complicate it with time travel, and murder, just go to one were Hitler never existed.  If it’s a moral issue let me just stop you right there cause dude, you have a trans-dimensional import/export craft.  The very nature of the theory behind it states that there are an infinite number of universes to travel to.  So going to one universe and killing Hitler, guess what, there’s an infinite number of other universes where you failed.  Then there’s a further infinite number where you succeed, but Stalin decided he wanted to invade Poland anyway, so he did, and WW2 happened, (of course in that universe we killed every last one of those Commie bastards, and the world was a better place).

 

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a stumble awesome DIY internet photo the greatest

The powers of the Internet, used for good?

I’m not sure what this says about the internet, and everything I’ve grown to love about it, but somehow, someone was able to convince the people of Reddit that yes, we are a good people.  Operation Birthday Boy was begun on 4chan, of all places, and using their powers of stalkerness, began to throw William Lashua, a member of America’s Greatest Generation, a birthday party.

Soon, someone claiming to be William’s grandson posted a thread on Reddit, pleading the internet to not show up, because, being the internet, it was likely to show up with things on the left side of this picture:

Except, the dinosaur would be a furry dinosaur, the bathing suit wearing girl would be a naked girl, and the jets in the background would be actual Russian fighter jets that had nothing better to do today.

Well, luckily there were no furry dinosaurs, and unluckily there were no loitering Russian jets, cause come on, that would be ace.  There were girls, but the pictures of the event do nay prove if they were naked, or bathing suit wearing, so we’ll just chalk that up as a +1 regardless.

Here are some final stats that someone who called up the place where the party was reported:

I called the Legion.
His grandson got on the phone
50 Bouqets of Flowers
20 Cakes
Countless cards.
He said 5 UPS have pulled up today with stuff for him.
They also said the local Postal Mail had 2 trucks full of cards.
I almost cried!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me to pass along to Anonymous a
“Thank You”

Turns out that the internet can be a good place, who knew?

{The turnout | the internet |URLesque }

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awesome Deadly Computer science the greatest

The Alternate Cold War

Today is Adolf Hitler’s 121st birthday, and what better way to celebrate then by having a bonfire?!  What are we burning, don’t ask, you don’t wanna be implicated, its better that way.

Anyway, another way to celebrate, how about continuing the alternate reality of Pearl Harbor? Yes, I think that’s fitting, we will explore what could have happened had The Nazi’s won World War II.  Anyway here we go, onto the future!

When we last saw our heroes they were demoralized.  The greater part of Europe was in ruins, and as far as the Eye could see, Hitler could control.  Unlike Napoleon before him, Hitler had conquered the mighty Russian Bear, and now is the most powerful man in the world.

With the destruction of Moscow via an atomic bomb, the country unconditionally surrendered to the Nazis.  Seeing the destruction the bomb caused, the remaining Allies formed a truce with the Axis powers, less Japan.

The world was painted to look like this:

Nazi Germany controlling the better part of the globe, with their power reaching 2 oceans, and thousands of miles.  America is takes on the role of The Soviet Union at the end,  They get Japan, and pretty much get to do what they want with it.  America and Nazi Germany are the new world powers, and the population looks on with great interest at what will happen next.

The year is 1953.  It’s been 8 years since WWII ended, The United States is now comprised of 61 states, including conquered Japan (adding 4 states), and various islands across the Pacific, and Cuba.  The Nazi’s have changed the name of most of Europe, removing nations, and combining them all together into Nazi Germany.  All other nations of the world hold their breath as they watch as two powers of different ideals have a stand off.

The Space Race

In 1955 the Nazi’s launch the first artificial satellite, Trabant.  Aided by their massively successful V2 rocket program of the war, the Nazi’s are able to gain a significant advantage over the Americans.  Because the Americans didn’t win the war, they weren’t able to steal any Nazi scientists for themselves when it ended, and therefore they are significantly behind in their rocket research.  It’s not until 1960 when the United States enters space.  By this time, the Nazi’s have already orbited multiple humans, and have multiple semi permanent satellites in orbit.

The United States however doesn’t really mind.  They may have different ideals compared to the Nazis, and as long as Hitler stays in Europe, then they don’t really care.  We start a space program though.  Not because we’re afraid of the Nazi’s, but because we want to conquer space.  As a nation, we fully back our space agency, eventually leading to a Moon mission, many years in the future.

The Arms Race

The global arms race hasn’t changed much, and the Germans use their V2 rocket research to attach bombs to.  In fact, that was their plan from the very beginning, attach an atomic bomb to V2s, and rain down deadly destructive damage from the sky.  It’s not very successful at first, but within 5 years they are able to deliver a nuclear payload to any target in the Europe, Asia, Africa part of the globe.  Too bad they control over 60% of that territory.

The US on the other hand just uses its vast resources to build bigger and badder bombers, eventually making an 8 turbo jet design that can circle the globe and deliver nuclear or conventional bombs to any target.

Naval warfare is at a stalemate.  The US has the superior fleet, but the Nazi’s have a superior submarine force effectively keeping the American’s at bay in the Atlantic.  However, America, lacking bases in Europe builds massive Aircraft carriers, capable of launching, and landing 4 engine bombers.  They are the king of the waters, giving them an effective range of half a hemisphere.

Because of the lack of European bases, the remaining allies build up Africa.  The Africa we know today is very different from the one that exists in this reality.  Developed, civil, popular, and safe.  Africa has become the central part of the world.  Attracting businesses for the mining available, and tourists for the country side.  Remaining largely neutral in the whole global political scene, Africa thrives on the businesses there and becomes a home-place for all of the displaced peoples of the war.

The World Itself

The Nazis having never been accused of war crimes due to winning the war outright, quickly begin to work on their world image, soon becoming the hope of generations.  (Mostly due to the propaganda of the Nazi party, which is still working in force.)  However the overall feel of the world is peaceful.  How long will this last is anyone’s guess, because in 30 years time something extraordinary is going to happen.

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awesome Deadly Computer the greatest

Adolf Hitler is 120 years old!

Hitler Moasic

Today marks the birthday of the world’s oldest non-living dictator, Adolf Hitler!  120 years ago today he was born in Austria, he went on to try and become an artist, but didn’t do so hot, so instead he went for world domination.  A pretty nice secondary goal if you ask me.

The failed Führer started his run to greatness in 1923, but was unsuccessful in that too.  So he was thrown in jail for a few months, where he wrote Mein Kampf, his handbook for the future.   Over the course of the next 10 years, he slowly, and legally built up a following, that eventually led to his appointment as Chancellor of Germany in January 1933 by Hindenburg.  He used the disastrous outcome of WWI for Germany, and the global depression to snowball his way into the hearts of the German people.

In another few years he got the Nuremberg Laws passed, which allowed him to begin his crusade against the Jews, and other undesirables.

In 1938, TIME magazine named Adolf Hitler their Person of the Year, and a scant year later, That person started The Greatest War in the history of the world.

After a series of unfortunate events which led to Germany’s defeat, Adolf Hitler was reported to have committed suicide with his new bride, Eva Braun.  However, there are widespread reports that Hitler, along with other high ranking members of The SS escaped to South America, Argentina being the most likely place, and are lying in wait to begin again new on the Fourth Reich.

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strange the greatest

Happy Birthday Hitler!

hitler moasic

Today is Adolf Hitler’s 119th birthday, wish him luck at his goal of ruling the world.  He failed before, but that’s not to say he’s still alive in South America, or any of those other weird conspericy theories about him are true.

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haha! internet science the greatest

My future birthday gift?

Someone, please buy this for me for my birthday. If you do, I will love you for the rest of my life, I may marry you (if you’re female), and I will appoint you to my council of elites for when I take over the planet. That is 3 awesome things, all for the low, low price of the destruction of one coastal city, and come on, the world would be a better place without Miami, for one thing, CSI Miami wouldn’t exist anymore, if that’s not reason enough, I don’t know what is!

My birthday is May 5th, you all have 68 days to save up for it, that should be plenty of time, but if it isn’t, this would also make a great Independence Day gift for me, November 11 is the future Independence day, 257 days until then, I’m sure you will have enough time for that!

{WTTF}

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awesome haha! the greatest

Hitler and the Aliens

So, i decided that what better way to honor Adolf Hitler’s 118th birthday then to go into a giant conspiracy theory that says he’s still alive?!

That’s right, everyone’s favorite dictator could very well be alive and kicking somewhere under the sea, or in South America maybe?  How is this so you ask, well it’s a simple matter of taking advantage of Alien technology of course.

Add to this the fact that Hitler’s body was never recovered by the allies, and that Stalin publicly stated that Hitler was not dead, and you have on your hands a very awesome conspiracy theory.  Hit the link for more info…