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internet science strange the greatest

Alternate History Thursdays –:.:– Roswell

Today I will blow your mind.

Not only did aliens Crash land at Roswell in 1947, but the ones that did were in a trans-dimensional space-time traversing device.  Meaning, they have the technology to move about timelines and realities as they see fit.

How is this possible you ask?

Aliens

 

Anyway, so, in July of 1947 the aliens crash land at Roswell New Mexico in the great country of America.  However, this was not a “crash landing”, in the sense that a craft lost power and crashed.  It was – look these humans have nuclear technology – EMP blast loss of power crash.  (Before you berate me and say any space faring civilization worth their salt would put EMP shields on their space ships, let me remind you of a few things:

A. Aliens

B. Time travel

C. ???

D. Profit

).

So, the aliens crash land and are left hopelessly out of luck on the planet.  The Americans while looking over the fields of their live nuclear weapons test on a real unsuspecting rural town find the remains of a ship.

  • Where did it come from?
  • How did it get here?
  • Who are they?
  • Should we shoot them?

Those were just some of the questions running through the commie’s heads.  Luckily enough, the aliens were able to speak passable English, and so were able to describe the events that led up to their arrival in great detail.  Here is their story:

 

At approximately 17:73:009 Centari Standard +Twel time (03:17 July 04, 1947 Local Earth Time), we were preparing for a routine jump to the 4th planet in the Symite system (Mars in the Sol System).  As we were traveling the shock wave from a nuclear explosion ripped into the fabric of Space Time and threw us off course by a few realities.  We have observed this local reality as uneventful, and not worth the effort of visiting in the past, but this new development intrigued us, so upon confirmation from our home base, we diverted to Earth.

Upon our arrival we scanned the planet looking for the location of the massive (estimated at 127 Tt) blast.  We found no such source, the only radiation sources were coming from the south western corner of the smaller continent.  We investigated.  Approximately 3 local days later another blast rocked our ship and disrupted our electronics systems.  We went into a dive and crashed into the planet.

Our current electronic systems are malfunctioning, and we are not able to make contact with our home base.  We do not know the cause of this malfunction, and would greatly appreciate any help you can give us.

 

The Americans took this with a grain of salt, but ultimately it was believable.  After a few years they were able to repair the “inter-dimensional-time radio” – IDR, and make contact with the inhabitants from Centari.  It turns out that the disappearance of Flight 1700 was a major scandal across the universe.  The unheard of artificial blast was recorded and felt across the galaxy.  What made Flight 1700 unique was that it was the only flight in the universe in any of the measurable realities that was in flight at the time.  There was a 77 microTwel (23 second) time difference between the flights before and after 1700.  Why?

More importantly, and strangely, Flight 1700 was stuck in this reality.  They could communicate, but could not travel as until this point, no one had ever traveled to this reality, only sent unmanned drones in to take samples, and provide assistance, and no one ever tried to retrieve those drones, as the data was sent back perfectly fine.

What’s going on?

Who knows?

(See above photo)

Anyway, there is more to this story, but it’s classified right now.  Fear not though, because in the future, all will be revealed.

{livememe}

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awesome Deadly Computer the greatest

Alternate History Thursday – D-Day

D-Day

 

Keeping with the tradition of the year, I am going to continue to tell you the alternate history that happened today.  (Today is also one of the few times that Alternate History Thursday will take place on an actual Thursday)

Anyway, last we learned, WW2 played out slightly differently than you were probably taught in school.  But there’s a surprisingly large amount of overlap.  Mainly in the Communist Americans helping a battered, and nearly beaten European Ally destroy an oppressor.

The oppressor however, was the tyrannical British Empire.

D-Day still happened, but instead of one massive invasion into an occupied continent, it was a series of nearly a dozen coordinated landings on all the English holdings except England itself.

Nearly half a million troops made landfall into India, South Africa, The Middle East, Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco.  The plan was to cut off British  troops from all avenues back to England, and slowly tighten the noose until each nation, & continent was free.

The troops were made up of Americans on the oceans, and German Collation on the seas in the north.  It was a 70/30 split between the two for strength wise, but all in all they were successful.  America even sent over troops from the coast of the Brazilian Territory to make landfall at Liberia.  That went surprisingly well actually.

This marked the beginning of the end for Great Britain.  Essentially cut off from their money makers & supply lines in Africa, and their fuel in the Mid East, they slowly crumbled.  Slow is relative though, since it took nearly a year, and a bomb being dropped on their stubborn ass killing the crazy King before anyone changed their minds.

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internet

Alternate History Thursday

http://youtu.be/sDEoYVyZ5vw

This alternate history lesson will deal with another strangeness, rather than our main story.

In this alternate history, humans live underwater, actually, it’s not humans, but a human – dolphin hybrid that controls the world.  They’ve spent the last hundred thousand years evolving, on a 90% liquid water planet.

The Hudolphss, (as we call ourselves), are very learned in the sciences, and, just like their human cousins, they secretly hate everyone else.  Over the course of history, there have been 7 recorded wars between the tribes.  The most recent one saw the advent of new, nuclear weapons.  Above you can see a video of one of their tests, and hear what it would have sounded like to them under water.

The Hudolphss history is not all war and death, with the advent of nuclear technology, they finally set up permanent bases outside of the oceans.  Within 10 years they were into space, but they found it just as cold and lifeless as we currently do.

Jupiter is the 4th planet from the sun, our neighbor, and therefore much closer, making the moon Europa have liquid water, and much, much easier to get to.  They colonized that moon, and soon started out on a trans galactic flight.  They have yet to return with their findings…

The above video looks like it’s from Operation Crossroads, if the video caption is to be believed, and my extensive knowledge of US Nuclear tests is to be trusted (when is it not?)

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the greatest

Alternate History Thursday – A WWII Birthday

Hitler Moasic
The famous Adolf Hitler Mosaic I made years ago.

Today is the 124th birthday of Adolf Hitler.  In our alternate reality, Hitler isn’t the horrible dictator we know him as today.  As we’ve, America is Communist, and if you know about history, and Adolf Hitler, you know that he hated Communists.  Anyway, I digress.

World War 2 went on for the same number of years, and the US still was the first (and only) nation to use Atomic weapons in anger, but the US was not seen as the great liberator of the world.  You see it’s communist, and even in this alternate history, Commies are bad.

Anyway, here’s some background on Hitler from our alternate history:

  • No Holocaust
  • Supreme Chancellor of the European Super Continent
  • Seen as a liberator

Now, granted that’s probably hard to swallow, but remember, America is Communist, anything is possible.

So, back to what makes him so great in this alternate history.  Basically, WW2 played out in a vastly different way, Hitler rose up against the renewed British colonization efforts of Europe, Africa, & South West Asia.  England has gone on a tyrannical reign of invasions, trying to regain the greatness  of The British Empire.

No one dared stop England as they slowly marched down Africa, across the Middle East, and up the generally surrounding mainland Europe.

No one but the newly elected President of the German Republic – Adolf Hitler.

Adolf Hitler wouldn’t stand for this, with his country backing him, he went to war. (This is Europe afterall, everyone hates everyone else).  Germany was easily aided by the rest of nearby Europe, France was eager to allow the Germans to enter, a chance to get back at their bitter enemies across the channel.  However, with all the resources of greater Europe at their disposal, The German Alliance just couldn’t stop the British Navy, in fact, for all intents and purposes, Germany was land locked.

In comes America.  Their vast resources form the then current 83 States, allowed them to continually barrage British naval bases, and factories along the coast of Africa & India.  Australia slayed neutral, and was better off for it.

Eventually, the Americans were able to make land fall in India, and slowly move across the Middle East, and into Northern Africa.  They moved towards the Atlantic, and before you knew it, England was at it’s knees.

The German Alliance was strong and picking at the English Air and Naval forces.  Within a year, the war was over.  England was in shambles, having had a nuke dropped on them, and Germany started the UN.

The German Alliance was strong, and surprisingly, many of the nations of Europe which Germany “invaded” or “occupied” to join forces with to defeat England were perfectly happy keeping the status quo, as the Great Depression was still fresh in all their memories, and they were afraid that with Germany pulling out, with them, all the success would go too.

So in short, Hitler was seen as the great liberator of Europe, finally putting to rest the British Empire, and all its multi-century attempts at global domination.

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video

Alternate History Thursday – Hover Cars

We’re still in the same timeline as previous Alternate History Thursdays. But this time we are in an alternate history that’s only a few years in the past.  Also, we’re gonna forgo the political drama of those previous posts, and just live with pure science.  So, let’s get down to business.

The world has advanced greatly, many, many new and wonderful technologies have been introduced to the world.  Chief of which is the levitation technology above.

The first trains using this technology were built in Germany.  Soon it was discovered that if we enclosed the

very good website

trains in tubes devoid of atmosphere, we could greatly increase the efficiency of the system.  Germany, with the help of their European neighbor countries collaborated on a Trans-European railroad.  Over the course of 5 years 2 teams built the state of the art track from Berlin to Rome.  Each team had around 500miles to build over mountains, and through 1,000 year old villages.  When it was finished, it turned a 5 hour flight, into a 2 hour train ride.

At first ticket prices were expensive, but within 2 years, they were on par with airlines.  And within 10 years there was a network that covered all the major cities of Europe.  15 years after initial train opened, plans were underway to connect London & New York City.

A massive, 5,000 mile multi-tube tunnel that goes up north to Iceland & Greenland, and then down the East Coast of America.  This was a massive collaboration on a global scale, transcending Nations, Politics, and Religion.  It truly united the world in a way nothing in the past has done before.

{redux}

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strange

Alternate History Thursdays

But it’s not Thursday you say.  It is, in an alternate version of history, where Thursday is the 3rd day of the week, preceded by Valkday, and Monday (still gotta start on Monday, otherwise everything else is all messed up).

Anyway, welcome to the first installment (in this version of History), of Alternate History Thursdays.

I present you The Star Spangled Banner played in minor key, it’s simply Red:

So, what happened in this version of History that our Nation’s National Anthem is played differently?

Well, let me tell you:

Many things are similar, and in fact, you’d be able to use many of the same history books and lessons you learned today.  Except for one a few key differences, America is a slightly communistic nation.  I know what you’re saying, Karl Marx wasn’t even born yet, but that’s not an issue.  This is an alternate version of history, there are literally infinite ways I can  explain that away.  Perhaps he was, or perhaps Jefferson, Franklin and the rest of the gang were commies at heart.

Anyway, America, the Communist Empire that stretches from sea to sea, and pole to pole is truly the greatest nation on earth, and everywhere we go, we have to proclaim the greatness of the land.

Let it be known that were I ever to be transported to this version of History, I would immediately die.