Alternate History Thursday – TIME


The above is a real time gif of the earth’s movement.  Just watch it, it moves at few frames a second, and after 24 hours, it will be back where it started.  Anyway, you could waste all day watching that, or you can take my word for it and then read the following:

Time is an interesting concept.  It’s claimed that it’s the only constant in the universe, and that it can only flow in one direction.  But I’m about to flip all that 180 degrees on you.  TIME is as a concept that humans understand is flawed.  By gaining access to an alternate reality, you can quickly see that the flow of time is not equal to that in your local reality.  This is most easily seen when traveling “back in time” to 1947 by dialing in the correct coordinates and opening the temporal-displacement door (TDD).  The technology for this door was provided to us by the crashed alien craft from the late 1940s.

Now, conventional wisdom says that with a flux-capacitor, and the ability to drive at 88mph, you will be able to open your own TDD.  The technology displayed in a flux-capacitor has not been successfully decoded, but we believe that the TDD is an alternate version of the flux-capacitor.  It’s probable that the aliens have decided that a door is the optimal way to change dimensions, whereas for us humans, if you’re gonna make a time machine (out of anything), why not do it with some style.

After careful examination of the final product, it was determined that the TDD was safe for human use, and the first time travelers were sent to the year 1947 to witness the crash landing of the aliens from which the technology came.  Temporal paradoxes are prevented because we are not traveling through time, but rather to another dimension altogether.  However, it is important to note that once the door is closed, travel to that dimension from your source dimension is more or less closed.  The probability that a door can be opened to the same dimension is ridiculously small with our current understanding, and the aliens are not telling use anything helpful.

Regardless, we feel that this a minor issue for the time being.  The door doesn’t need to be fully open to keep the portal open, just not closed completely.  This has prompted the invention of the Temporal-Jam (T-JAM).  This leaves the TDD open just a hair, and as long as the location is known, can be opened with minimal force.  Care must be used so that only approved beings travel through the door, this is why it’s recommended that a firewall be constructed around each TDD complete with auto-close functionality, and it’s own low-yield nuclear device.  The EMP field will destroy the time-circuits, and hopefully any dangerous lifeforms that make it through the TDD.  Any local loss of life is expected in this situation, and understood.

This is just a preliminary report, we look forward to further testing of the TDD, T-JAM, and fail-safes in order to work out all kinks in the plan and make it a profitable endeavor.


Speed is Bad for you

While I could only watch the above video for about 25 seconds before I got a headache, I figure I should at least give all my readers the pleasure of this lovely experience as well.

Ryan Fox duct-taped a GoPro camera to the tire of a car, and then drove around while it was switched on.  That’s all there is to it.  Either love it or hate it, I don’t care.

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Grand Teton Mosaic

Grand Teton Mosaic
1,500 unique Photos make up this Mosaic

I like making Mosaics.  I used to make them a lot, but I haven’t in awhile.  I used to make really great ones, but the program that I had was removed due to some copyright issue, and so it was never updated for anything but Windows XP 32 bit.  And it’s too memory intensive to load it up in a dedicated VM.  Oh well, Andrea Mosaic is a newer, still up to date piece of software that makes really great mosaics.  That’s what the above picture is of.

I took 1,500 of my Yellowstone & Grand Teton photos (of nearly 6,000), and used them to make a huge mosaic of one of my favorite photos from the trip:

Sunset Tetons

Take a look at the dedicated page that Andrea Mosaic can generate to see a higher resolution image, and larger versions of all the individual photos that make it up.


Waves of Grain

Keith Skretch has a interesting time-lapse video for us.  He took a piece of wood, and planed it down to nothing.  After each pass of the plane, he took a photo of the wood.  Repeat the process a few hundred times, combine the frames and add music and you’re presented with the above video.

I like how it shows the knots of the tree, and how the tree grows around it, and the branch starts from nothing.  The damage from splitting, and bugs, it’s a really neat video, and it’s only 2 minutes long, so just watch it.

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Weird Al is Still Awesome

Weird Al has released a new album, Mandatory Fun, which has a very Commie vibe to the cover art, I’m torn between if I should like it, or hate it.  Whatever, buy it.  But if you’re not convinced that Al is a lyrical genius, then take a look at some of this latest videos, oh, did you know he’s releasing a new music video for a different song every day for 8 days.  The song above, Word Crimes, is a parody of Blurred Lines, I like it because of it’s kinetic typography style.

Tacky is I think my favorite, even though I absolutely hate the song it’s based on.

The other two he’s released are Foil, which, after I watched it again, I remember that I love it:

Mostly for the strange location it goes in on the 2nd verse, it makes the song so much better.  I mean, Weird Al, was known for his food songs in the past, but this one is better.

I don’t like his latest one though, Handy:

As a bonus, here’s a DIY video someone made of his Hardware Store song, based on Harry Potter’s Dumbledore:

Yellowstone Photos

A wrought iron fence runs along part of the North Entrance, leading up to the Roosevelt Arch

I made it back, which you may or may not have figured out from some of the posts I’ve made since I’ve been back.  Anyway, cross two more parks off the list:


We rented a boat at the marina at Signal Mountain Lodge. We drove it around Jackson lake for a few hours. It was pretty nice.


Ten parks been to, 49 still left to visit.  Which one(s) should I go to next?

  • Glacier
  • Death Valley
  • Crater Lake
  • Great Sand Dunes
  • Acadia
  • Shenandoah

Those are just the few that I think I could easily get to in the next year or so.

Smarty Pins

smarty 11

Google has a great trivia game out, Smarty Pins.  They present you with a map of the world (usually zoomed in to somewhere in the area of the answer).   You are given a trivia question.  You answer the question by dropping a pin on the map where you think it should go.  The number of miles off you are from the actual location get deducted from your total start milage, (1,000).  Answering questions quickly gets you extra miles.

It’s surprisingly fun.  However, it’s easy to loose quickly.  I was way off in the answer to one question (wrong coast of the US), and that ended my game completely.


Made to be Seen

Joel Schat has put together a collection of timelapses from his travels across America.  Many of them are from National Parks, all of them are beautiful.  I embedded the YouTube version in this post because YouTube has the 4K resolution video.  Watch it in 4k.  Even if it takes you 4 days to buffer the video, watch it if 4K.

Now just plan some time to go to these parks, and see them for yourself.  I’ve made it to 10 of them, but there are 49 still left to go for me, and hopefully more will be added.

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Life in the 3rd Person

GoPros, The Oculus Rift, 3-D printing, Arudino, all these things, combined with some ingenuity, and time produced this strange idea to make a camera rig that translates the world into the 3rd person.  I think it would give you a headache rather easily.  But if the story of wearing glasses that make everything upside down, after a few days of it, your mind adjusts to the difference, is true, then I think it could be pretty cool.

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