internet movie the greatest

Jurassic Park Posters

That is the original theatrical poster for the film Jurassic Park.  It’s simple, classic really, perhaps one of the greatest film posters ever made.  There’s not much to it:

  • Film Name – check
  • Tagline – check
  • Some way to ascertain what the film might be about – check
  • Famous person in/director – check

The Short List (besides having a fucking terrible site to navigate (I already accidentally clicked on your FULL SITE MEN IN BLACK III ad, please let me read the article now)), put together a list of a bunch of alternative views of that iconic poster.

I’ll save you some trouble of going to that site and trying to read anything, and tell you that they are all minimalist, “retro”, modern, bull shit versions of that iconic poster.

Perhaps it’s because most all of them make heavy use of vector art, which I absolutely hate.  It just looks too clean, too perfect, to unnatural.  Vector art has it’s uses, when it’s done correctly it looks (and more importantly scales) great.  But most all the vector artwork I’ve ever seen by people online is crap, and 2 of the following 3 posters fall into that category:

I picked a few that I thought were worth a closer look, I’ll start in no particular order with This one means nothing.

Go through the original check list I had above, this fulfills two things, and that’s it.  Yes, I’ll give you that it’s a pretty clever design, but it’s only clever to someone who’s seen the film.  The point of a movie poster is to get people interested in a film they have yet to see.  The above poster, not interested at all.

This one is the closest to the original poster, and perhaps why I like it best.  In fact, of all the ones they choose, this is the most true to the original, and the least retro.  There’s no perfect vector lines, it’s dirty, and choppy, and let’s you know that this isn’t going to be a clean kids movie.  Granted, it could very well be all done in vector, but the artist spent time to make it look good, he “aged” it so to speak.  It’s a good forgery.  Where as all these other ones are giveaways.

This one wins the WTF award:

Seriously, I have no idea what’s going on there.  None.

  • Film name – MISSING
  • Tag line – MISSING
  • Some sort of plot – MISSING
  • Famous people – MISSING

Can someone look at this and not think of children’s coloring book, or something similar?

Anyway, in closing I’d like to say stop trying to reinvent something perfect, I bet all the people who made these/like these posters are people who hate The Special Editions of Star Wars, these are no different.