This has been bothering me for a while…

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Ok. I have an iPhone. I love it. I also hate it. I jailbreaked it so I could hate it a little less. And because most people who own one (which is a lot by the way) seem to love it there are the inevitable clones and copy cats flooding the market. Some are good, some are bad, some are laughably terrible. Because of this shift in what people want / expect from a “smartphone” RIM has decided to get in on the action with the Blackberry Storm.

oooh, pretty. And the subtle imagery. The lightning bolt…Storm? Someone at RIM must think they’re a genius.

ANYWAY, RIM decided they were going to fix the worst thing about having to type on a touchscreen. After all, this is a Blackberry, it’s main purpose in life is to do email for corporate stooges (and Mike) and do it well. So well, in fact, when they have outages, people damn near kill themselves because they can’t get their damned email unless they’re sitting at a computer. The horror. Ok so I’ve heard people complaining that because they can’t feel where certain keys are (i.e F and J for QWERTY fans or the numeral 5 for those with just a number pad) that they can’t type without looking down at the screen. Fair enough. Ignoring the dangerous implications of this, its damn near impossible to text your friends while driving. I suppose that’s an issue with some people.

So RIM comes along and says “hey let’s add some tactility to this otherwise normal capactive touchscreen. That will solve EVERYTHING.” So now, every time you touch the screen, anywhere on the screen, it physically depresses, allowing you, the user, to fully comprehend you have just touched a key. Consider my mind blown. Except wait. The only people who would consider this the solution to their touchscreen problems are people who say “OOOOOOHMYYYYYGOOOOOOOD I’m touching a capacitive touchscreen that is way more sensitive than those dumb ol’ resistive touchscreens and I can’t tell that I’ve initiated some action because there’s no button press telling me I did!”

Ok asshat. If you touch the screen, you engaged some kind of action. Texting, telephone call, change the music, warp drive who cares? I’ve tried touching my iPhone’s screen as lightly as possible and you barely have to brush up again the screen. That’s enough tactile response for me to realize that I’ve TOUCHED THE THING. The whole problem is that you can’t tell WHICH key that you’ve touched without looking at it, not that you can’t tell you touched it in general. In no way does this “innovation” fix this issue.

I’m waiting for people to realize this as hands on time increases with the Storm. The screen clicking thing will seem like a great feature until you try to type freehand and you realize that you have the exact same problem of not knowing where T or J or S is because its one flat surface. The same flat surface you get with any other touchscreen phone. Ooooooo but this one clicks!!!!1!! Go die.

This does not improve email. That’s what Blackberries are for. You have one / are getting because your company is making you so they can bother you when you’re eating dinner or telling your kids a bedtime story or otherwise…indisposed with a loved one. Try typing up an email with an iPhone and then a Storm. It will be exactly the same, except one gives you that extra little clicky sound that makes you salivate.

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