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How to convince people you’re crazy

It’s actually very, very, easy to convince someone that you are a crazy person.  There is only one requirement for it all, an imagination.  If you have a good imagination, you can do anything, one of those anythings is convince people that you are indeed a crazy person.

However, there are some steps to make it all easier for you, the full list of them, after the click:

Step Zeroity11: Talk with yourself

Start to talk to yourself.  And not just the talking you do when you’re trying to study for something, crazy awesome talking.  Be sure to remember to answer back, extra credit if you do different voices, hand gestures, and move your head to a different side for each one.  Here’s an example of a conversation I’ve had with myself:

Me: Oh man I’m hungry

Me2: No your not.

Me: Yea, your right, but i really  just want to go fly to space and see the Magical Martians of Neptune who can give me the power to think that I’m not hungry anymore.

Me2: Oh man that would be sooooooooooooo awesome.  I would be sooooooooo tooooooooooootally jelous of you if you got to go see them!!!!!1!

Me: Hahah, yea you would bitch.

Now be cautious that you don’t overdo it.  You don’t want to do more then 2 different voices, or people may just assume you’re practicing for a play or something.  You also need to know when to end the conversation.

Step 2: Make up whole civilizations

You can see the beginings of a civilization I created in Step Zeroity11, the Magical Martians of Neptune.  I don’t know much about them, they were only discovered recently.  But in another dimension however, lots and lots is know about them.  In still another dimension we as humans don’t exist, but rather, we are all Magical Martians of Neptune.  In the dimension thats 7 degrees North of the Diet Dr. Pepper Ice Rings of Qaim, we are called Magical Martians of Mars, and Earth is our Moon, and we eat fremented paperclips.

As you can no doubt guess, I could go on for a very long time about these types of things.  I’m very good at it.  Mike hates it, Chris kinda does, and other people, well, maybe that’s why they don’t talk to me too much…

The beauty about making up your own civilization is that you can’t ever be wrong.  And if someone is paying enough attention and catch you making a mistake, you know you found a future crazy person friend, make a mental note to add them to your list of people you like (all crazy people must have at least one list of people)

Step 4: Have interesting conversations (with real people)

By interesting conversations, I don’t mean an indepth discussion on the condition of the economy.  A crazy person has no concern for the economy.  No, I mean, talk about world domination, and ending human life on earth.  The more intersting the better.

A side effect to this is having alot of general knowledge on questionable things.  Like if you can name 5 different ways to kill a person with an iPod, that’s good.  Another plus is if you have an extensive knowledge of illegal drugs, my favorites are cocaine and heroin.

You must have these conversations at any appropriate (that means the most inappropriate) times.  Sometimes just an off beat comment will do, other times, you need to go into lenghty conversations about it.

Step 5: Have a list(s)

The list is the most important part of proving your crazyness.  The more lists you have, and the more organized they are the more crazy you are.  Your list can be anything.

  • List of people you want to kill
  • List of people you want to marry
  • List of people on your council of elites
  • List of things to do before you die (most normal one, be sure to include unnormal things on it, like visit Uncle Magnet on the planet Post-It-Note III)
  • List of ways you’d like to die
  • List of most interesting screws on the Number 3 Train ride to work (this one is a winner!)

You don’t have to limit your list to people, it can be things too.  Be creative, use your immigination!

There you go, 5 easy ways to convince someone you’re crazy.  Now, I know for a fact that there are about 37 extra ways to convince someone you’re crazy, but, these how to articles are generally 5 steps, and since I have 5 steps here, I’m stopping.  I may come back to this idea in the future though.

6 replies on “How to convince people you’re crazy”

I like to sit down at a restaurant with the main person you are trying to convince this of and out of no where slam your fists on the table and shout “I’m not crazy!” 3 times and then pretend it never happened.

…and yes, I am crazy.

here’s a good one:

Me: i wanna sandwich
Me2: ok here you go *hands invisible sandwich*
Me: thx dude *starts eating invisible sandwich*
Me2: careful dude i think i put a bomb in there
Me: thx for having my back dude
*hugs each other*

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