My future birthday gift?

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Someone, please buy this for me for my birthday. If you do, I will love you for the rest of my life, I may marry you (if you’re female), and I will appoint you to my council of elites for when I take over the planet. That is 3 awesome things, all for the low, low price of the destruction of one coastal city, and come on, the world would be a better place without Miami, for one thing, CSI Miami wouldn’t exist anymore, if that’s not reason enough, I don’t know what is!

My birthday is May 5th, you all have 68 days to save up for it, that should be plenty of time, but if it isn’t, this would also make a great Independence Day gift for me, November 11 is the future Independence day, 257 days until then, I’m sure you will have enough time for that!

{WTTF}

6 responses to “My future birthday gift?

  1. At first, I thought this was aimed at Florida in general and I didn’t see humor in it at all. Florida, without your parents and the scum that moves here has a very rich heritage/history.

    However, Miami lost all that long ago and is a central hub for scum and I would love to see it go. Preferably with as much scum concentrated there as possible(parade?).

  2. @Anomynous Pierson, I have nothing against Florida in general, I can’t speak for them over at WTTF though, but I assure you it is just a joke.

    If you’d like to see it go, maybe we can start a fund for this Birthday gift of mine?

  3. Ahahahahahahaha…..wait….hahahahahaha!

    Dude, I just found your blog on stumble and bookmarked it because of this (the rest of you stuff is funny as well). I’m from the north but lived in Florida for two years when I was a kid, my family almost starved from the dirt poor pay and everyone treated us like crap, we had to sell all our possessions to get enough money just to move the hell back home.

    I hate that damn state, so this made me laugh pretty hard.

  4. @Travis I’m sorry to hear of your troubles, perhaps we can all pool our money together, and get me this wonderful birthday gift for real then?

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