In the spirit of stupidity among the American Schools along the lines of What could have happened from August comes a story that although doesn’t top that one for sheer stupidity, it does come close.
The Guns N’ Roses song, “Welcome To The Jungle” A decent song in my opinion, I’m not a GNR fan, but I like that song. apparently, some teens in Connecticut really, really love that song, and decided to sing it over their school’s P.A. system after hours. Harmless right…
You see, there was a teacher staying after school probably getting some work done (I know, my mother is a teacher, she stays after many, many days doing things). Well, when she heard the line:
You’re in the jungle baby
You’re gonna die
She FREAKED THE FUCK OUT! Apparently, she must not have been paying attention at all while the whole beginning of the song was playing, and only heard that part. Because she barricaded herself inside her classroom, and called the police.
Lucky for these kids, the no less then six State Troopers, and 3 police dogs showed up, and we all know that State Troopers take no shit from no one, and they were cuffed and on the floor for 15 minutes or so while the troopers investigated, and asked questions. Eventually they were let go, and will not be charged with anything.
But come on, I don’t care who you are, “Welcome To The Jungle” is a very famous song, and all over the tv a few years ago when Rockstar used it for their Grand Theft Auto ads. If this lady doesn’t know that song she really did deserve to die like she thought.
And, now for the best part. Because if people are scared of pictures of guns, and apparently they are not smart enough to realize what songs about guns are (just you know, songs…), then i can combine the two together, and really rule the world. Because in my previous plan, i was alienating the blind people, for since they can’t see the pictures of guns, they can’t be scared.
Now that I’m gonna
hijack commandeer all the radio stations, and broadcast all the most “threatening” songs I can think of. And top of the list will be “Welcome To The Jungle” and “The Hitler Techno Remix”, and of course, Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues” because he “Shot a Man in Reno, Just to watch him die.” Oh My…I can only imagine the hysteria this will cause.
Next I will say,”Stop, join me, and I will provide you with these CDs of Billy Joel, you can use in your stereos and cars, to combat the new Radio of Death” However, I will make each CD so scratched, and unreadable, that after only 2 plays, it will be useless, and they will have to come back the next day for another one.
Then with the entire population of the world will be going crazy seeing pictures of Guns in papers, and hearing about how someone is going to kill them through music. And I will be able to rule once and for all.
On second thought, maybe I’ll just make those special CDs with some C4 one day, and this way I can kill off all the fucking-stupid-annoying-idiots in the world and just start over again. Actually, I kinda like that idea better……..
But oh no, I made a vague, no-where-near-plausible threat to the world as a whole, please don’t come arrest me.
(oh, and in case you were wondering, it was the Booth Free School in Roxbury Ct)