Yes, it’s all optical illusions, but it’s still fun to watch.  In order to keep the air of mystery about it, I will not tell you how it works, you are free to figure that out for yourself.  (It’s not that hard, trust me).

{thisiscolossal}

We’re still in the same timeline as previous Alternate History Thursdays. But this time we are in an alternate history that’s only a few years in the past.  Also, we’re gonna forgo the political drama of those previous posts, and just live with pure science.  So, let’s get down to business.

The world has advanced greatly, many, many new and wonderful technologies have been introduced to the world.  Chief of which is the levitation technology above.

The first trains using this technology were built in Germany.  Soon it was discovered that if we enclosed the trains in tubes devoid of atmosphere, we could greatly increase the efficiency of the system.  Germany, with the help of their European neighbor countries collaborated on a Trans-European railroad.  Over the course of 5 years 2 teams built the state of the art track from Berlin to Rome.  Each team had around 500miles to build over mountains, and through 1,000 year old villages.  When it was finished, it turned a 5 hour flight, into a 2 hour train ride.

At first ticket prices were expensive, but within 2 years, they were on par with airlines.  And within 10 years there was a network that covered all the major cities of Europe.  15 years after initial train opened, plans were underway to connect London & New York City.

A massive, 5,000 mile multi-tube tunnel that goes up north to Iceland & Greenland, and then down the East Coast of America.  This was a massive collaboration on a global scale, transcending Nations, Politics, and Religion.  It truly united the world in a way nothing in the past has done before.

{redux}

Anyway, since it’s Christmas time,  let’s start the ball rolling with a perfect gif:

Like I said, perfect {source}

Really, how does that happen? {source}

Somebody’s gotta go to prison here…{source}

Yup, everything is hilarious when you’re wearing a Banana suit. {source}

Keeping up with the pooping gif above, we have a donkey who provides you with smokes. {source}

For those of you who don’t know, Monk is a character with an obsessive compulsive personality, that would kill him, that’s why it’s so great. {source}

I’m not sure if this is true or what, but it seems pretty cool if you ask me. {source|reddit}

Playing across 3 screens, that’s awesome. {reddit}

The caption on this image is all you need to know. {reddit}

If I ever need a cast, this is what I will get. {source|reddit}

Sure, there’s about 100 pixels to share between these 5 movie announcers, but that’s not the point.  The point is watching/listening to this video, and seeing/hearing cinema history at the same time.  Most of those people I bet you’ve never seen before, but you’ve heard every single one of them.

Not since GEICO’s commercial with Don LaFontaine, have I been so surprised.

Also, Don LaFontaine looks way better bald i think.  Also also, the Disney guy is so out of place there.

Also, as time has moved on, these are not so much stumbles anymore as things from other people, and most specifically reddit.  I know the title is like a double lie in that sense, but if you use logic, the two lies cancel each other out and become truth.  And you can’t argue with that logic now can you?

Apparently these shirts are commonplace, reddit.

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back all in abridged animated .gif mode! {reddit|creator}

It might take you a minute, but once you get it, you get it, and you wish you could get yours that too. {reddit}

What’s your favorite color?  I like white…{imgur}

It’s a great fruit get together if you ask me. {reddit}

My only question is is there enough steps for the entire opening crawl? {reddit}

Who would do that? {reddit}

No matter what you say, that building it gorgeous.  And from the air, it’s even better. {reddit}

Now we start the Olympic theme!:!

I hear about NBC sucking in broadcasting the Summer Olympics, but, I’m not watching it on TV, I’m streaming everything, it’s better that way. {Imgur}

That’s such a nice way to show how extra complicated the Judging compititions have gotten in the Olympics over time. {Imgur}

I’m not gonna lie, that was fucking awesome.  I want to do that the next time it snows.  Sure, it happened last year, and making my own this year, or next year, or whenever i get around to doing it will seem like a copy cat, but I don’t care, that’s too awesome not to do.  I think my favorite part might be the tunnel at the bottom, I love tunnels!  They remind me of my bunker aspirations, and ultimatily a missile silo.  Ah, good times down those memory lanes.  Anyway, check out that video, it’s awesome.

{noob.us}

Some people call fake, I don’t.  I mean, calling it fake is like second nature on YouTube.  First is calling it gay.  Besides, anyone who takes things written in the comments on YouTube as serious should have their reading abilities revoked.

I’ve done stop motion before, and it does take along time, and until you get to the end and see how they say they do it, you might think it’s a fake.  But once you get the projector and the pictures then it’s easier.

However, I will say this, I do think that the way they ultimately choose to do it is cheating.  Part of the appeal of stop motion is the choppyness of the animation you get, and the length of time it takes to make it all.

{source}

This is totally worth watching for 11 minutes.  It’s movie gold watching all the threats, taunts, and general excessive swearing.  All in all, I’ve seen a good precentage of the films on the list, but I must say,   there is a sevear lack of Bruce Willis quotes here.

Off the top of my head, I can come up with 3 from Die Hard:

• Let’s see you take this under advisement, jerkweed! {youtube}
• I’m going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me the code.
• You motherfucker, I’m gonna kill you! I’m gonna fuckin’ cook you, and I’m gonna fucking eat you!

Too bad too as any ammount of Bruce Willis makes everything better.

You can get the whole list over here at Pajiba, and this is where I found it, over on Moviefone.

This is Super PAC-MAN.  And, when I say super, I mean, super.  Hundreds of user created mazes ranging from the simple 1 dot to eat, to the entire board being dots, to the ghosts being stuck inside a ring they can’t get out of.  Lots of messages of love, and an overall awesome feel to it.  I think the coolest thing is that when you use the shortcuts on the top/bottom/left/right, instead of taking up accross the maze, they take you to the next maze next to that one.  What’s even better (or worse) is that if you then turn around and go through that shortcut you end up in the exact same place you left.  It’s cool case you can use that to eat away at a bunch of mazes at the same time, assuming you go in a circle.  It’s annoying cause if you go through with a ghost on your ass, and you forget and go through again (cause you have another ghost on your ass), you die.

You start your life on the maze you died in, and lives carry over to each one.  Every 10k points you get an extra life.  I’ve played about 40 different mazes, and completed 5 or 6 of them.  I think most of those 6 were simple ones.  Some of the mazes are pretty well thought out, others are just some sick twisted version of “fun.”  There’s also many current and old video game logos or things in.  I’ve seen a Pokeball, a Space Invader, playing cards, something from Mario, and words from other games.  It’s pretty awesome.  Needless to say, you can go make your own too.

Anyway, give it a go, and try not to waste too much time here.

Clearly this is the ONLY correct response to this situation {source}

I dare you to not laugh at that. {source}

Sure, this may be a few months old, but I’m just reminding you that computers can NEVER win, or we are all doomed to die a horrible death, and I warned you and you’re not allowed in my secret bunker. {source}

I don’t think you’d be able to Ford Rivers while fighting, it just doesn’t seem like it would keep the clip working well for too long. {source}

Yea, I may not have done that before, but, if the situation arose, I would do that, most likely. {source}

W.T.F. {source}

Everyone looks cute when they sleep, now I could have made a nasty joke here, but I didn’t consider that an improvement of some sorts. {source}

I don’t know this new macro {source}

This is an extremely good flow chart of the different sci-fi series available on Netflix, I would follow if if I were you and I liked sci-fi. {source}

I can honestly say that that has never happened to me. {source}

I don’t know who top left is, but he should be replaced with William Shatner {source}

This is up there with the Birthday Skeleton, for weirdness. {source}

I rest my case. {Aviation Chatter}