Aliens want us to destroy the planet! January 14, 2009 at 10:45 am
Look at that broken wind turbine over in England. Guess how it happened, you’ll never guess it. That’s right, a UFO caused it. Well, at least this post seems to think so, and hey, who’s to say they’re wrong. Now let’s analyze the situation we know nothing about, which we didn’t witness, and come to conclusions that only make sense in our minds, and then shun those who disagree with us, just like a High School English teacher does!
First, why were the aliens attracted to this area of the world? Clearly it has something to do with the wind turbines there, this is obvious as they destroyed one. But why did they destroy it? In order to ask why, we first must ask how. One could argue that the ship flew through the turbine, but that’s a silly argument, because alien ships are excellent fliers, and can pull of stunts and maneuvers that no human plane can dream of doing. So accidentally crashing into the spinning turbine is out of the question. No, this was a deliberate act against the well being of the turbine. Now, we can ask why.
At first you might think that the aliens are just joking and want to piss us off. Well, when they get in that mood, they get much more personal, and abduct us and play around with our personal time line. That’s much more fun then breaking a wind turbine. The aliens broke this turbine because they want to send a message. That message is wind power is wrong. Why is it wrong, maybe it ruins the landscape, maybe its in the way of airports (for UFOs), maybe its not efficient, maybe its not reliable, maybe its too loud, the true answer we’ll have to ask the aliens that, but the fact remains, it is wrong.
What would the aliens rather us use? Well they seem to have no problems with nuclear power plants. If they did you think they would be attacking them and condemning us for building them. But no, the first recorded hostile attack by UFOs is on a renewable energy wind farm. What does that tell you? Well, it tells me that we should start burning more coal. And oil, and maybe even go back to unleaded gasoline, just to be safe. Because all of those places haven’t been attacked by UFOs in the 100+ year history of them existing.
Clearly this means something? Or are you too dense to see it? I can see it, the aliens are trying to show us that the whole idea of global warming is a fraud, and it’s something we’ve wasted billions of dollars on. They want us to stop spending money on global warming, and start spending it on research into communication with them. This way they can tell us why it’s a fraud, and what we can do to stop it.
It’s clear that the aliens intended to destroy the whole wind farm, except the loud bang and noise that was reported by the locals scared them off. You see, aliens are not used to creating lout noises in our atmosphere, their technology is silent, and as i said above, many times more advanced then ours. Our technology is primitive and loud. We should be happy because this time, our technology won the battle with the aliens.
That’s my interpertation of the events in that English yard. What are yours? For homework you are to write a 2 page paper (2 sentence comment will sufice), on why the aliens choose to destroy the wind turbine. I am grading these, and you will fail if you even pretend to form your own opinion that is contradictory to the mine.
There we go, perfect rendition of a High School English teacher.
4 Responses to “Aliens want us to destroy the planet!”
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Sometimes I can’t tell when you’re serious and when you’re being facetious. This is one of those times, and I’m scared.
Steve,
Ok so the aliens were scared off by the noise that it made when they destroyed this wind turbine right? Well, if their technology is silent and they most likely communicate telpathically, wouldn’t it be safe to assume that they have evolved to not even have a need for ears or hearing in general? Or maybe they sensed the immense vibrations that this caused. Or maybe this English yard is in an alternate universe where the aliens use a sort of radar like bats so they can hear everything but see nothing. In which case you immediately begin to wonder if they even knew it was a wind farm they were destroying. Or maybe they came from an alternate universe where wind power is like spice on Dune. So he that controls the wind, controls the universe and they were simply showing that they control the wind power, which lends more credance to your original thought. If aliens control the wind, maybe they’re the source of wind! Maybe since their craft are obviously invisible unless they want them to be, they just fly around the world creating wind in their path. And hurricanes are just games like football to UFOs hovering miles and miles in the air. Katrina was a touchdown. (I’m going to hell)
This became larger than it was supposed to be…
Hi there,
I stole that article off another site (follow the link) and can inform you that I do not believe aliens crashed into the Wind Turbine.
Surely any idiot can see that this was the work of a Chupacubra!!!
The last laugh is on him though as not only did he get a nasty bruise in the process but there were no goats in that field to suck, only cows!
Bruce