What could have happened…

24

You see that drawing above. Notice how it vaguely resembles a badly drawn gun with happy faces on it and stick figure people playing on it, and a row of apartments in the middle? Well in case you didn’t see that, and all you did see was this:

Let me assure you, it is a badly drawn gun with happy faces on it and stick figure people playing on it, and a row of apartments in the middle. I hope the bold hammered it into your head, cause as long as you can understand that little line of factual information, you are instantly smarter then the principal at Payne Junior High School in Arizona.

You see, a student there was drawing aimlessly and for whatever reason, drew a “fake laser”. A teacher passing by however thought it posed a threat, took the picture away from the student, sent him to the principal who in turn suspended him for 5 days.

School officials claim it “absolutely” posed a threat. Well, school officials, the day a “fake laser” drawn on a fucking piece of paper can “absolutely” pose a threat will be the same day that I take over the world.

All I would have to do is hijack commandeer a newspaper company for a day, and instead of printing actual news for a change, just printed a picture of a gun on every page. That way, I would have an army of literally billions, and it would be so easy to take over the world, because everyone would be scared of the guns on the paper.

Then, I would come out, and say, pledge allegiance to me and I will provide you with the means to combat this new unstoppable army. And I would provide free matches to all who join my real army. Then, I will be unstoppable.  My army of legions will bow before me lest I forget to give them matches for the day to stop my Newspaper company from, printing pictures of guns.

Yes indeed, The pen is mightier then the sword my good friend, and I have won.

Really though, these school officials need to be, I don’t know, shot for:

  1. thinking that a drawing of a gun posed an “absolute” threat
  2. believing that a drawing of a gun posed an “absolute” threat
  3. punishing a kid for his drawing abilities

When that happens, there will be 2 less dumb people in places of power in the world, only a few billion more to go…

24 responses to “What could have happened…

  1. So…did the kid go back to school and kill everybody or what???….because I really think he should have….who do they think their fucking with??…you fuck with me…you fucking with the best…come on I take your fucking bullets…(Tony Montana)

  2. I can’t believe some of the things that they say will pose a threat. I mean when I was a kid we played cowboys and Indians, we shot each other, we died. Then we go back up and went at it again.
    Come on folks, we have gone off of the deep end here when our children cannot draw things they see in real life without being suspended from school. This is just absolutely STUPID!

  3. @Pat Blythe
    I’m still young, but when i was a kid, we did worse things then this, and the only thing to ever happen to us was we got yelled at by our parents.

    @Thombo
    yea, he could have seeing as how he was “traumatized” how the psychiatrists would put it nowadays, and then he probably wouldn’t get in any trouble, just be put on a few dozen different drugs that all would make him worse.

    @bob
    i wish i could say of somewhere else this could happen, but, i cant think of any…

  4. WTF! Our school systems are run by a bunch of fucking Nazis these days! Did everyone know that the schools are run by the same people who run the prison systems? I got expelled from school two weeks before I graduated because I had a bag of clean round screens in my pocket. This goes out to every teacher or official who thinks they’re helping kids with their zero tolerance bullshit:

    FUCK YOU!

  5. Jesus. Every time I read something like this, I remember the story I wrote in the 11th grade about getting a gun from my locker and going on a rampage. But that was back in 1974, so I got an A rather than a one way ticket to expulsion and the psych ward.

  6. it looks to me a like a poorly drawn trick-or-treating scene (the dashed line in the middle is the lines in the middle of the street, and the top and bottom are two sidewalks where kids are walking, going door-to-door). and since when does a junior high kid get 5 days detention for a drawing? kids in my junior high classes drew nothing but werewolves and freddy kreugers, not sparing any blood or gore. then again, we were pretty glad to get detention, because that only meant not having to go to school…

  7. We are teaching a very bad lesson to our children. Zero Tolerance policies equate all misbehavior to the same level. Carry a gun or draw a gun, same thing; fingernail clippers, hunting knife, no difference; Aspirin, heroin, out you go drug user!

    It will have the effect of desensitizing real bad behavior as no different than normal acts. What a lesson to teach our children.

    And why? Because the people we pay to make those determinations are too weak to do so. No, it’s just easier to set an all encompassing policy even if it makes no sense AND has the negative effects discussed above.

    The solution? It’s two fold.

    1) Teachers and administrators; GET BACK TO WORK!!

    2) Parents; Let them do their job, back them up and for god’s sake teach your children right and wrong. This can ONLY be done by example and through actual interaction with them. It’s what you signed on for, so do it.

  8. @mooster
    this all reminds me of the Differences between the 1950s and Today I’ve stumbled to often:

    Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

    1957: Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

    2007: School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

    @kelly
    yea, it’s a work of art, and open to interpertation, however, i think everyone can agree that that poses absolutely no threat whatsoever to anyone…

    @Damian
    Some Zero Tolerance programs are acceptable, off the top of my head this morning, i can’t really think of them, but there are some.
    Zero Tolerance among junior high schoolers, that’s kinda stupid because they’re still young, and can be changed.

  9. Brilliant.

    I’m going to (badly) draw fake dollar bills on pieces of paper and then use them to buy stuff.

    Then I can almost make as much sense as these school officials.

  10. @Brilliant

    we could team up, you draw some fake money, and together we could buy a newspaper company, and print some fake guns, and bring the population of the world to their knees

  11. Another example of America’s fear-driven society, which creates more stress and so it feeds off itself. If it wasn’t bad enough being a student in American schools already, these sorts of paranoia make it worse by making students always feel like they are the bad guy. Relax, people!

  12. “Zero Tolerance” is the notion that there is no difference between a parking violation and first degree murder, and you punish them both with summary execution.

  13. Monty Python – Surreal

    It almost beggars belief. I expect Fox News now to tell us that the Terrorist Threat has just been elevated after it reads this excellent article.

  14. ok, Im from phoenix, and have grew up in the school system. and this isent the half of it, the school board here is fucked up beyond belief, and people get suspended for stupid things now, like texting in class (on the first offense)its fucked up and something needs to be done!

  15. That’s a fricking road with way too big dashes and way too big sidewalks. The people are even being safe in the picture not playing on the road.

  16. I actually identify with this as recently my middle school aged brother was given detentions and threatened with suspension for a picture he drew in school. My brother was drawing a picture in class and in it made up a formula for gunpowder. Now, this formula was made of completely ridiculous household items that would never be misconstrued as a real recipe for gunpowder(unless you are a power happy idiot, I suppose). The only thing that gave it away was that he wrote “gunpowder” above it. The rest of the picture was nonthreatening in every way and it was clear that my harmless younger brother was just doodling and making things up, like most young people do. I was livid at my mother for not fighting this but I suppose theres not much to be done about morons who punish children for their creativity and imagination.

  17. Jesus Christ. The same thing happened to me in grade school right after Columbine. I drew something out of a Mechwarrior game and they thought I was homicidal and homeschooled me for a day. This was eighth grade, by the way.

  18. You guys better watch out. I draw some pretty deadly shit. How would you like to be run through by a heavily armed lizard person, punk?

  19. LOL reptoids were indeed real. they even stirred in your imagination. but I want to draw something like the “nordic” ones since they can’t be hurt by bullets and would be great for human shields 🙂

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